Un comentario sobre el machismo chileno

Ok so I´m not going to lie. I was terrified of Chilean machismo. Yes, partially because I am traveling all alone as a woman, but mostly because I was afraid it would just be too much of a shock to my system. I was afraid that angry feminist me was going to come to the surface. I read travel books galore that warned me to be careful, but promised that Chile wasn´t as machista as most of the other countries in Latin America. Still, I was frightened. I was coming from Wesleyan. Chileans probably wouldn`t take to well to an angry gringa. Well, it turns out to not be so terrible. Only occasionally does the angry feminist me come out.

First off, Chilean woman are pretty tough. The president of Chile is a woman, and she seems pretty tough. Supposedly the number of women that participate in economic activity outside the home is still pretty low, but I have a feeling that that is changing with the next generation. Women in general do better in school than men (surprise, surprise), and are entering the workforce in greater numbers. As I learned from the loca I met in Valdivia, the angry jealous thing can be a definite reality. And they love their control. My office is basically controled by a group of bossy women (there is a boss of every componente, and they all happen to be women). The director is also a woman and although I love her, she can only be described as a raging bitch. She is always bossing everyone around. Last week at lunch she nearly slapped out waiter because her salad wasn`t as big as mine, and because her empanadas de queso were cold.

Although the women in my office don`t mess around, they don`t stray much outside of their place as women. They hang out together, are all adorable and feminine, and never talk about sports. Last week when we moved all of our stuff to our new office, none of them lifted a finger. I made up for their lack of effort by insisting on lifting desks and chairs up and down flights of stairs. This was clearly an unexpected move, and I had to sustain a whole strain of "look at the Cereza" jokes, along with none of the men actually beleiving that I was capable of helping. Are you sure you´re okay? SÍ, I insisted, No soy niña.

As I´ve mentioned before, chilean men never hesitate to show a woman attention on the streets. Most days it doesn´t bother me, but from time to time the angry feminist me wants to knock a few heads together. The thing is that every man I´ve ever met has treated me with immense respect, and the cat-calls have never advanced to anything more. This might have to do with the threat of the tough women. The cat-calls make sense only because chile is oozing with sex in everyawy. Heterosexual sex, obviously. Homophobia is around I´m sure, but i haven´t run into any myself. Its more that homosexuality exists merely as a joke, a possibilty on television and in books, and not as a part of everyday reality. But anyway wherever you go, there are heterosexual couples. In the supermarket, in restaurants, and definitely making out in parks. One reason it sometimes feels strange to be alone is because everyone else is always holding hands. All the couples I have met seem to be desperately in love. Plus, abortion is illegal and there are tons of babies. So if you get pregnant, you´re stuck with motherhood. Its still social unacceptable to be a single mother, so you`re also stuck with a husband. I think its pretty unusual that most of the people in my office are in their upper 20s and older and don`t have children.

I have heard time and time again the joke that the woman who is the one that needs to take control of her husband. But thats the thing-- is it real, or is it a joke? I saw an apron yesterday that said: "¡Aqui mando yo! ¿Y qué hago ahora mi amor?" (translation: I´m in charge here! What do I do next, dear?). I´m assuming this was meant for a woman, and it kind of describes the tension that I´ve seen. Its sort of a facade of control, but the men still pull all the strings. For example, the señor of my household absolutely does not eat unless his wife serves him. This is partially due to his incapability to do anything at all, but thats another story. His daughter often makes jokes about bossing around her husband, but makes his lunch for him everyday and it seems to be a no-brainer that she stays home, while he goes to work.

Traveling as a woman has been continually surprising to everyone, but no one as given me any trouble. I have not been held back from anything I wanted to do, and I mostly don`t feel threatened. Chile is certainly not Wesleyan, but its not too bad. Still, there are definitely places that would make me angrier. Actually I felt perpetually more threatened traveling alone in Israel, especially in Arab neighborhoods where women are mostly confined to the home. In general the concern (if there is concern at all...) seems to be focused on gender equality, and not too much on challenging gender roles. This is clearly not too surprising. Anyway this is one month in, so these are just initial observations. After 3 months more, I should have a more complete picture.